Warning signs

Every time I've gotten up today, My vision has blacked out and I got very light headed. It's irking me a bit because I just had a sandwich three hours ago. -shrug- I haven't passed out yet, so it's whatever.  It might be because I need some water? I haven't had any today(shame on me) I'll go get some and see how I feel. I'm keeping all this shit to myself, since my family thinks I'm going to look funny if i keep losing. Right....I'd rather look funny skinny then with rolls, so they can deal with it. Peace out girl scout.

Huzzah!!

My laptop has been out of commission for EVER and finally I got a new cord for it today so I'm back on all set up and what not. I had been able to get online, but only on my moms desktop which everyone in the room could see. So for obvious reasons I didn't update here lol.

So let's see, what's new...I'm 156 again, big fat fail, but I'll go down soon. Just a matter or will power. I bought a cute pair of boots that should be here sometime around Wednesday, I'm so excited to get them.
My sister's almost 17....that's about it. Lol byebye

A new Year

Hello loves. Well it's January first. 1/1/11, epic. At 11:11 I'm going to make a wish.

Anyway, I met my goal weight for midnight last night, 155 pounds. I want to get to 150 by my baby sisters birthday on the 18th, but we'll see I guess.  It's a brand new year, I have 6 months before I turn 22. In the past 6 months, from when I turned 21, I have lost 40 pounds. So, it only makes sense that in the same amount of time, I can lose 30 more pounds, right? I hope so. Once I do that, I'll be happy....I hope.....

I'm home alone, my family is four hours away having a late Christmas with my favorite grandparents. I wasn't able to go because I'm sick and they would catch it. So I made them a DVD with me apologizing and acting silly and all that lol. I hope they like it.

That's about all for now. Love you all, stay safe. <3

Tis the Season

That's right, the season to be mean spiteful money grubbing people! MY Christmas went fine. My FAMILIES Christmas went fine, but when it comes to my fathers family?...HA!

They didn't like what we bought for them, so we had to take the money we got from our Christmas cards, go out on Christmas day, and buy everyone new presents. You heard that right, my fathers side of the family complained so much, that we had to go out and spend all the money we'd gotten as gifts, for new presents for them.

Here's where it gets interesting.

We get to my grandparents house and low and behold, my cousins girlfriend is there!! So what does my dad do? He tells his sister that she can't have her present, then gives it to this new random girlfriend. He's as bad as the rest of his family! UGH The holidays, I can kind of stand, but HELL no do I enjoy it with my father. He freaks out over everything, spazzes out dramatically and likes to pick arguments over stupid things.

Anyway...Happy Holidays.

I got a new bra, new jammies, my first pair of uggs. Some ugly slippers that i said I loved, some makeup, perfume, gloves and................a shakeweight!! YES I was so happy, it's the only thing I actually asked for. =D

Today I'm 155. It's he goal I get for myself for Christmas. Now I want to get to 150 by My sisters birthday on January 18th. Wish my luck. <3

New stuff

Okay so, it's almost Christmas! merry Christmas people, how is everyone?! =)

Mkay, some new stuff. I'm 156 lbs right now, only 6 away from being the thinnest person in my house YAY!! I'm very happy with myself, one more pound to 40 pounds lost. I want to lose another 25-30 pounds by June, which is the same amount of time that I lost the forty pounds.Reasonable, non? <3

Another new thing, I got my paycheck, all $100 of it, LOL. Oh well, right now, I've used all 100 of it to buy my family their Christmas presents. It's a worry I'm free of now, which makes me happy again. haha.

I've started watching spricket24 on youtube because not only is she beautiful and amazingly funny, but I just like knowing about what's going on. It's kinda pathetic but oh well. She had a baby named Lulu and she's SOOO cute, so I feel like a stalker, but oh well I guess.

And new thing # 4: I realized that I'm bi...I've been fighting myself on it for years now, but fuck it. I need o be myself. Of course I wont tell my family, my mom and dad seem to...erm....greatly dislike girls who like girls, you know. SOOO only people online know, and I'm cool with that for now.

Anyway, yeah, today is a good enough day, I got new library books and I didn't eat a lot. So, hurray! Enjoy the holidays my loves. Tata

Okay, sooo

I had my first two days of work these last two days, it's been easier then I thought, but it's tough getting back out and working after not doing anything since 2008. And! I went to work, worked for five hours, didn't eat, and gained weight. It was so freaking rediculous. I'm at 159 right now. -sigh-

Anyway, there's something that's bothering me. Last night I watched "In the Womb" and made a facebook comment about how surreal it all looked and how it was like learning it all for the first time. It was just really cool. Then...my friend gets on and replies that it really is beautiful, and how nice it is that we can trust God to make something so perfect and blah blah blah. Now...I'm a Christian. i don't go to church though, because I feel that God would rather I love him from home and not in a building that I don't even want to be in. Her churchy comments always piss me off and it's like....UGH

Since i broke up with my boyfriend, it's kind of like she thinks that's a free pass to go Jesus-Freak on me, since he can't push the Jehovah's Witness thing anymore and it's just SO annoying. Everytime we go to eat, she leaves a pamphlet on the table about God. wtf!! I've been her friend since the beginning of high school. but I think if she keeps this up I'm going to have to have a talk to her about it. I can't stand being preached to, or seeing nothing but Bible verses posted on her comments or getting God chain e-mails. It's too much and to make it worse she goes to the Seventh Day Adventist church. Sorry if anyone who's reading this does, but this church up my road is NUTS.  They MADE her give them 20% of her graduation money....like seriously. They kept asking her about when she would give it to them. That was like 50 bucks! And she can't go to anyone's house in Friday night or during the day on Saturday, because it's her sabbath. And now they have her thinking that ANY thing that can take her mind off of God is Satan's doing. Not listening to Christian music in the car? Satan. Going out during the sabbath or (god forbid, ugh) cleaning or working or any of that stuff, Satan. Letting people talk you into having a drink when you're hanging with your girls, Satan. So yeah, she's just....-deep sigh-

And to top it off, she's been sheltered all her life. So her, her mom, and her brother don't even say crap, they don't have piercing anywhere and talking about the human body or sex?! -GASP- that's a big big no no. I have to tone myself down every time I go to her house, which I avoid now for that very reason.

anyway..that's my rant. I still feel more hate towards her coming up, but I'll stop for now. Bye bye.

waiting.

I'm waiting for my boss to open the cafe for the first time. He said I might work 30 hours a week for the first few weeks, that's 30 hours not on my fat all burning calories. I want that so bad. And the money to buy christmas presents. ...short post, nothing else is going on lol.