='(

Well...after thinking about selling my iPod, laptop, my great grandmothers pearls and my grandmothers ring...i settled on crying in the bathroom for a few minutes.

I hate Christmas, it's not just the presents, but it's the fact that there's bills too. And only one car that works because the other one broke down and needs to be fixed. We have more shopping to do and only 200 dollars to last until next pay day...which we don't know when that will be, around new years maybe. 

Did the mention the bills? I don't know what to do. It's not even MY money, it's my dad's check, I can't contribute anything and mom wants to buy me presents, but we don't have the money. And there's the broken van...and..just.. yeah. I'm gonna go cry again. Now i know why this holiday has such a high suicide rate.