My boyfriend spoke to his mother today, about something she made him promise to not talk to me about. As she put it, I'm not important enough to be in on any choices until there's a ring on my finger. Buy from what he hinted, she wants him to move to Ontario Canada...I'm already moving up to Canada for him....giving up my religion for him, my holidays for him, my family and friends for him...and now his mother wants him to move out to Eastern Canada...which would take me even farther from everything I've ever known.
I...just.... I don't know.... =( Today is our six month anniversary, and I know he's really torn about this. He doesn't want to hurt me, but there's more to the story that he can't tell me....I just...don't think he's looking at it from my point of view. I'm actually really unhappy with this...i just....i don't know. It's not the long distance relationship that's hard, it's the planning for the future.
I grew up planning out family Thanksgivings, epic Halloween parties, cozy Christmas Mornings and kids Birthday parties....I don't get any of that if we get married because of his religion. I mean...I know that it's not the end of the world, just means we can plan new reasons to have parties and fun stuff, so it wont be a holiday obligation, but it feel like I'm losing out. it's depressing me and his crazy mother isn't helping...I just needed to get this out, no one I know could listen without telling me to drop him like a hot potato. I love him, so I can't.
Thanks for your sweet comment.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok if you want to keep celebrating things like holidays, etc - you shouldn't have to obliterate things about yourself to be in a relationship. Has he offered to give up stuff for you or is it just you giving things up? My husband's Jewish and we do both Christmas and Chanukah - in an equal partnership there should be room for each.