It's seriously time to rethink some shit.

Okay, Here's what I'm thinking...

I need to stop this ed shit. It wont be easy, for sure. I still eat way less than I should on some days, and way the hell more than four people should on others. I'm going to try to level it all out, eat healthier, the whole thing. I have half a bottle of diet pills left, I'm going to throw those away.

Luckily, I haven't used lax in about a year, so that's not even a temptation any more.

The hardest thing is going to be when I look at myself in the mirror and think "Meh, I can just stop eating anf fix that shit" no. NO Bad Bobbi BAD! I'm not fat. I'm not I'm not I'm not. I just have to keep telling myself that. I can squeeze into size 8 pants for Christ sake! Medium shirts and size 8-10 pants is not fat.

So. Here it goes. I'm not going to starve myself for 2-3 days at a time. I wont use pills and I wont restrict down to 500 calories a day like I used to. If I keep going like this I'm going to have a heart attack... and I can't afford that crap! I'm at 165 pounds. I'm 5'10" That's not bad at all....-wince-

I'm going to up my goal weight from 120 to 150, which is in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height. I am going to try to get t there ( THE RIGHT WAY) and not fuck it up afterwards.

-sigh- It's so difficult. I know it's going to be hard. I've had this mind set before and slipped back into old habits... but now I have a role model who's totally doing it right. That's what I need to be doing it, the right way. Not a way has proven to kill people as fast as obesity.

So yeah. I'm going to try to level things out a little bit. put a little balance in my life. It's past time for me to grow up and seriously rethink some shit.

I'll still be blogging, no worries. So...feel free to yell at me if I start to veer off course in the future.